Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Am I the one who holds all my friendships together?

I don't make new years resolutions, but at the start of the year I decided that I would not contact any of my friends and see how long it took them to contact me first.

I have been in my adopted country now for 14 years and have made many friends, mainly from companies I have worked for, so who long did that last - well I broke down in February when it was Bob's birthday and called him, he didn't answer, I didn't leave a message - but he called back and we had a really nice long chat.

So now it's just past St. Patrick's day and of the old crowd that I always organize the "Get togethers" - I have spoken to Bob and Trsh who I happened to bump it at my favourite Coffee shop, who hadn't replied to any of my email or text messages, but was thrilled to see me ... or was that just a put on?

Maybe my expectations of my friends is just too much, we're not all the same and perhaps we outgrow each other and don't feel the need to see one another or talk to one another that often anymore.  I was told by a friend in South Africa that she sees me on Facebook all the time, so it feels like she is in contact with me all the time, is that just an excuse for not making actual contact with someone?  Have we become reliant on our Social Media to feel close to our friends? 

On another side frenimies that I have not kept in touch with for reasons other than I have been too busy, have suddenly crept out of the woodwork.  I bumped into my ex boss on a flight back from London, she pretended not to see me, was so funny as there is a story there.  Then Pete who came to visit us in Dublin about 3 years ago and then dropped off the face of the earth, called.  I got a weird email from the mother of one of  Em's frenimies who hadn't spoken to me since last year August, I replied but heard nothing since.  And then an old work colleague phoned and started asking really rude personal questions about our finances, so I cut him short .... I think I have become so less tolerant in my more mature years. 

I guess at times you discover who really are your real friends.  

I guess once again, I am going to be the one to pick up the phone and phone all those people I haven't spoken to in ages, make arrangements to see them and then see once again how long it will take before they contact me again, or will I just be the one who reaches out all the time?

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